For example, today we went to the feed store. The guy that loaded up the bale of straw had long hair and a beard. Daniel laughed, "That boy has a ponytail! ...Or is that a girl?" The windows were down, so I wasn't sure if the guy heard Daniel, but Mark did and pointed out that only boys have beards.
Then, when we were in the grocery store, he saw a dad shopping for beer while two girls were running circles around the displays. He looked and me and asked, "Mama, are those girls orphans?" Well, they sure were acting like they had no parent around, so yeah, I guess they were orphans.
A few weeks ago, we were at Costco and he greeted everyone he saw and told them how old he was. He holds up three fingers, but then makes an X with his two index fingers to show "half." Because he is, of course, three-and-a-half. Don't forget that half!
His funny sayings aren't limited to the store. He is also quite hilarious at home...if you have a sense of humor. He tried to tell me he could use a knife and he couldn't cut his finger off because he was "miserable." Miserable? He looks at me with his cute wrinkled nose face and asked, "What does miserable mean anyway?" I told him it meant sad. He laughed and said, "I'm not sad! But I can't cut my finger off!" Maybe he meant invincible. He does try to fly...but before he jumps he always shows me his wings that are broken that make him fall every time.
I'm convinced he has Opposition Defiance Disorder. I'm not a fan of diagnosing every quirk of human nature (it would have been really easy to get Shane on the Autism Spectrum when he was younger), so when I say Daniel is ODD, it is with a little *wink* Here are the symptoms:
- Frequent temper tantrums
- Excessive arguing with adults
- Often questioning rules
- Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
- Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
- Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
- Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
- Frequent anger and resentment
- Mean and hateful talking when upset
- Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking
Me: Daniel, I'm older than you are.
Daniel: No, you're not.
Me: Yes, I am. I'm 36. You are three.
Daniel: No, I'm not three. I'm 3 1/2.
Mark: He got you on a technicality; He's 3 1/2!
Daniel happened to be getting sleepy-but he insisted he was sitting on my lap just to get warm. As he eyes were closing, he once again insisted that he wasn't tired. A few minutes after his eyes were firmly closed, I asked him if he was asleep. I felt a muscle in his back twitch, but he didn't say anything to the contrary...until Lula tried to climb up in my lap. Then he stuck his foot out, right at her neck, to keep her from getting up in his space.
Most of the time, when Daniel defies me, he is bluffing. During today's grocery store trip, he refused to get out of the car via his door. He needed to come out my door. Instead of making him go out his own door, I chose to not battle him and let him come out the front. Then he refused to come with me inside the store because I chose a cart that he didn't approve of. He exclaimed, "Fine! I'm not going in the store with you!" I said, "Okay. See you later," and kept walking. He quickly ran to catch up and said, "Actually, I am coming with you." About two minutes later he started doing the potty dance...a clear indicator that Mr. Control Freak needed to be in charge of doors and carts because he couldn't tell his body what to do. On the way home, he didn't like his dad's choice of music. I didn't either, but I'm too old to scream that I hated it and to turn it off. Mark just turned the music up louder so he wouldn't have to hear Daniel's protests. After Daniel cried for awhile saying he hated his dad and that Mark couldn't be his dad anymore, he fell asleep. See? Daniel isn't really ODD. He just needs to go potty or take a nap or eat some dinner or go to bed.
He's just a precious three and a half year old with opinions...
...to be continued...for the next fifteen or so years...
