We are now in the Zone of Waiting. My due date is two days away. I've had two early babies, three late babies, and one born right on time, so this one could come at any time-even today! Or next Saturday! I haven't been sleeping well for the last few nights. Uncomfortable sleep comes with the territory (indigestion, waking up just to roll over), but I'm experiencing something completely different than normal. About five nights ago, I started having anxiety attacks with a racing heart in the middle of the night. I try to calm myself down and go back to sleep...but then I jolt awake again. This goes on until two or three in the morning. Then Lula or Daniel will wake me up. But after that, I sleep soundly until my normal waking time. I'm understandably a zombie (with pink eye, did I mention I've had pink eye?) and I have no appetite so I just sit in my chair feeling miserable until I can take a nap. The kids run around completely unschooled and unparented. Mark was so busy at work last week, that he had no time to help me.
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| Even Lula has figured out how to fend for herself |
By Friday, I was a complete and total wreck. I could no longer function. I have a very good friend that stepped in and came over and took control of my home, even when I insisted I didn't need any help. She brought pizza. She made me call my chiropractor midwife. She cheered me up. She cleaned! This friend is the same one that threw the surprise baby shower when Lula was born and lent me her birth tub. She is also stepping in as my doula for this birth. That, right there, has lifted such a huge burden from my shoulders that I shouldn't have been surprised that I got a good night's sleep Friday. She knows all about birth (and even teaches childbirth education classes) and loves attending births and everything about birth! Plus, my kids know her and her kids and my littlest ones love her! As my chiropractor midwife says, sometimes the Lord forces us into a position where we have to ask for help whether we like it or not!
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| The Lost Boys |
My midwife has me taking some supplements that are supposed to help with my mood and appetite. Since I've started taking them, I've felt more normal, but I don't know if it's a result of the supplements or having a good friend cheer me up *smile* I can still only eat tiny amounts of food. Here it is 10:30 in the morning and I still have no desire whatsoever to eat breakfast. I'm still waking up at night; last night I tossed and turned for a few hours and had to sleep in while the kids played video games this morning. But the hopeless feeling is gone and that right there is the most important part.
So now we are just back to waiting...
