Lessons from Daniel: Part 2

Daniel has been sick for the last few days.  It started Monday night with nightmares.  By Tuesday morning he had a high fever that lasted through Wednesday.  Both Tuesday and Wednesday nights were filled with fever-induced nightmares.  Yesterday, Thursday, his fever broke, and he ran off to play with his sisters.  But last night was the worst night of them all.  Night Terrors.  SO different from a regular nightmare.  I was able to wake him from the spiders that needed killing and the dragons that talked too loud.  But last night, he screamed and screamed like he was being tortured.  He looked past me and through me and over my shoulder; he couldn't look at me.  He convulsed and kicked and hit.  He could only speak in gibberish with an occasional terrified NOOOO mixed in.  It was TERRIFYING.  It only lasted until just after midnight and then he woke up for real and crawled into bed with me.  Normally I put him back in his own bed because he crowds my space, but after those night terrors, he could sleep anywhere he wanted.  He slept fine the rest of the night, woke up at 9:00, and cheerfully announced that he had nice dreams and he wanted cold hot dogs for breakfast.

None of my other kids have ever had night terrors to this extreme.  I can only attribute it to his personality.  He has always been my most volatile, sensitive, extreme, passionate, needy (must I go on?)... Even when he isn't sick, he can throw a doozy of a scene.  Remember our trip to see King Tut's treasures?  He pushes us to the outer limits of our patience...and forces us to find inner peace.

So, the last post talked about Daniel's tantrum while going down for a nap and how he was starting to learn the meaning of, "I love you."  His language skills are more sophisticated than they were when he was two years old, so his fits are more...colorful.  If he doesn't get his way in a game, he will say, "Fine, I don't like you anymore and I'm going to throw the toys in the garbage."  For awhile he was saying, "I HATE you (sibling name)!"  I would correct him with, "No, you don't hate them, you are just really mad at them.  Say that.  Say, 'I'm REALLY MAD at you, (sibling name)!'"  The hard part is trying to keep the older kids from giggling and throwing gasoline on the temper fire.

The older kids don't always laugh.  There are times where Daniel is just so mean and he really hurts someone's feelings.  This is when I have to teach them about the fruits of the spirit (kindness, gentleness, self-control) and how they respond to him will either help prop him up, like a tomato cage, or keep him down.  My favorite illustration is from Kung Fu Panda 2.  I'm not even going to write what I say because someone else has.  Visit this post to see what we talk about: 5 Life Lessons From Kung Fu Panda 2  I have the kids imagine they are Po, catching the cannon balls (Daniel's hurtful words) and throwing them into the water.  Sure, your hands get a little singed, but it won't last if you won't let it.

When he really gets going, he will scream, "YOU'RE NOT MY MOM ANYMORE AND I DON'T LOVE YOU!!!" and so on and so forth. My parental training (snicker, snicker) teaches to respond in a calm, soothing voice, "That's okay, you don't have to love me.  I still love you and I always will."  Really, I don't say, "Fine. I don't love you either and I'm going to throw your toys in the garbage.  Go find a new mom."  It's so tempting, so very tempting, but I don't do it.

Saturday, the day we spent at the beach, he was so totally out of control and so tired and he just needed to go to bed.  He threw one of his big ones with all the toppings.  He hated his bed, his pillows, his blankets.  He wanted different ones and then none at all.  He hated his pjs and wanted to throw them in the garbage.  I started to wish he were non-verbal, like my nephew.  I bet my sister doesn't have to hear her 2 1/2 year old say things like what comes out of Daniel's mouth.  When he started in on the, "You're not my mom anymore, I don't love you, you can't be my mom..." I had a sudden realization that we, as adults, will often do this to God.  When we are tired, overwhelmed, and maybe even praying for something and it doesn't go our way, we will often shake our fist at God and cry, "Fine! I don't believe in You! You are not my God anymore! I hate you!"  What does God do? Does he say, "Fine, I'm going to throw you in the garbage?"  So, what does he say instead?  Well, What Would Jesus Do?  It's not just a cute bracelet with a WWJD-it's a serious question.  As my Heavenly Father, I know I want God to say, "You don't hate Me, you are just mad at Me. Take a rest, you'll feel better in the morning."

I'm just a stand-in until Daniel is old enough to know God on his own.  And my words and actions should reflect that.  I'd certainly rather hear him say, "I'm going to feed you to the chickens!" instead of God and Jesus.