A Boring Week

Yep, the title says it all.  I haven't blogged because there really wasn't anything blog worthy.  We had a normal week of school, normal activities, normal events.  The older boys and Mark have a nasty cough (and I think I'm coming down with it).  My energy is even lower than it was before, so low in fact that I can barely do a load of laundry without needing to rest.

I'm gearing up to do a unit on photography and cameras with the kids.  Ian wants to earn the photography merit badge for Boy Scouts.  Shane wants to earn the belt loop and academics pin for Cub Scouts.  Evie has some great pictures she has submitted to National Geographic's Great Nature Project.  I have no idea if you can search for me there, but try to find me on Flickr and see some of Evie and Shane's pictures. 

The girls started dance on Tuesday.  Fiona was moved up to the big(ger) girls class along with two of her other classmates.  She isn't a preschooler anymore!  Evie is still in her class, which meets the same time (and same place) as Boy Scouts.  That's convenient!

Fiona had a few funny things to say this week, one of which I posted on facebook:  She had been going through my cookie cutters to find Halloween themed shapes.  She pulled out a pumpkin, a bat, and a cat...but also added an angel.  I said, "An angel? For Halloween?"  She replied, "Yes, it's the Death Angel.  I learned all about it in Sunday school.  If you don't put blood over your door, the Death Angel will come and kill all the first born babies."  The other funny thing that happened was one of those times where you just had to be there.  She asked if people get shots so they don't get sick.  I said yes.  She thought for a second and said, "I want to be a doctor when I grow up."  See? That wasn't funny!  It was the way she said it that made it funny.  It totally sounded like she wanted to be a doctor just so she could stick people with needles!  (The day before she wanted to be a dentist)

I took the kids to the dentist on Thursday.  It was Daniel's first time!  I was so disappointed.  Our trips to the dentist are always fun.  I thought for sure that my most belligerent would give us a show.  But he was perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  He was sweet, obedient, and didn't embarrass himself one time!  Boo.  It was Lula who spent the whole time butting the back of her head into my shoulder so I would put her down (which I didn't).  I was exhausted by the time we got out of there...only 35 minutes after we showed up!

Ian worked another shift selling popcorn last night.  He is up to about $1000 in sales (Shane has done $750).  Our approach this year is so different than last year.  Last year (and years before), a Cub Scout sells $350 to cover dues and everything over that goes to the general fund.  The Scout gets a prize that corresponds to the amount of sales.  Usually the prize is something stupid, like a little LEGO set or a pocket knife.  This year, Shane sold enough to cover his dues and a winter camp.  He'll get a prize, but we don't care about that.  We are done signing Shane up for selling shifts.  Ian will get a percentage of his sales deposited into his Boy Scout account.  The more he sells, the more trips he can go on.  So far he has covered summer camp and maybe a few smaller trips.  Usually, Ian is reserved in public.  But last night he started coming out of his shell and entertained people with his lame magic tricks.  He knows they are bad, but he had fun talking to people, even though the people weren't buying.  Our area has been saturated with popcorn; everyone who was going to buy some has already done it.  The same shift that earned Ian and Shane over $500 in sales, barely cleared $200 last night. 

So, that pretty much wraps up our boring week! 

We Love the Dentist

F took her first trip to the dentist this morning.  Every trip to the dentist has been fun so far, hasn't it?  Why should this one be any different?  But this story isn't about F; she was quite tame.  This story is about E.

She is a very independent girl and she is not shy.  She feels very comfortable visiting the dentist.  I expected her to tell everyone she sometimes doesn't brush her teeth all day and no one ever checks.  But I didn't expect her to tell the dentist exactly what she thought of him.

E: I have a boyfriend (I shake my head no)
Dentist: Really?
E: Yes.  You are my boyfriend now.
Me: Honey, he is already married and you are a little too young to have a boyfriend.
E: No, he is my boyfriend.
Dentist: Well thank you E.  I am happy to be your "friend."
E.  You don't have to call me E.  Do you know what you should call me?  Sweet Pea.
Dentist (aside to me): You are going to have fun with her when she's a teenager!  Well, Sweet Pea, I'm going to take a look at your sister's teeth now.  See you next time!

Neither girl had cavities.  Hooray!

Flashback: IJ and S's First Trip to the Dentist

Today IJ wanted to know exactly how old he was when he said his first word.  I pulled out his baby book and came across a written account of the boys' first trip to the dentist.  The kids and I really enjoyed reading it together (in other words, I laughed so hard I almost stopped breathing) and I am so glad I wrote it down...because it all happened in the days before my blog... and if the house burned down we would never remember the incident.  So sit back and relax and enjoy another hilarious episode of The D Family Show...

The boys were 3 and 2 years old and E was not yet three months old.  IJ was in the phase where he enjoyed talking to people at the store and embarrassing me.  S was carrying his Thomas trains everywhere and had just potty-trained.   *Warning: In the interest of full disclosure, the following post includes potty talk and mention of bodily functions.  This is what I wrote (edited for spelling and punctuation):

 ...

Our first dentist appointment was on Valentine's Day at 8:30 in the morning.  It was a chilly morning and I knew that I had to start getting us out the door an hour before we had to leave.  The boys needed hats, scarves, jackets, shoes, socks, and gloves!  They each had to find their travel toys!  I had to bundle the baby, find the diaper bag, make sure I had our insurance cards, snacks, and everything we needed for Playtime at Good News afterward.  We made it to Dr. Kimberley's office right on time.

The waiting room had a big fish tank and lots of toys.  We marched in wearing our warm winter clothes, perfectly organized, under control, and holding hands.  People smiled at us.  IJ told the receptionist he had fire in his tummy because he was a dragon.  We were ushered into the New Patient Room where I proceeded to change E's first poopy diaper.  I filled out paperwork while our nurse Diane introduced IJ and S to the dentist chair and tools and showed them how to brush a giant stuffed horse's teeth.  The room was great for little kids.  Legos, puzzles, toys, books, and stickers were available for play.

But then we had to wait.  And wait.  And wait.  The main dental hygienist had broken her leg the week before and Dr. Kimberley had to take up the slack.  He was running behind and the time was only 9:00.  Our little group slowly dissolved into chaos.  E needed to nurse.  IJ had to go potty, "right now!"  In the bathroom, IJ announced loudly that his "pee was blowing bubbles."  S got worried and left the room to come looking for us.  When we got back inside, E fell asleep after fussing.  Then S wanted to "poop-a-potty."  I handed E off to the nurse and I took him to the bathroom where he refused to go and IJ got worried about being left behind.

We waited some more.  IJ and S fought over who got to push the buttons on the dentist chair.  They both scared the nurse by climbing on the rolling spinning chairs.  S jumped off all the chairs-he is S, that is what he does.  IJ pulled all the stickers off the roll so he could see all the pictures.  The nurse gave them their new toothbrushes.  They got chewed on, thrown, and confiscated.  S started throwing the little hand-held mirrors over the big light attached to the dentist chair saying, "Cow-a-bunt-a-moon!" (S-speak for the cow jumps over the moon)  The nurse tried to show them how to open their mouth so the dentist could count their teeth.  Both locked their jaws.

And we waited longer and longer.  I got tired of correcting naughty/bored little boy behavior so I let them alone.  I decided that the havoc wreaked on the office was their own fault for making 2 and 3 year old boys wait so long.  IJ and S got thirsty.  Diane filled cups of water five times each.  S figured out how to work the motion sensor on the water and helped himself-and spilled!

Finally Dr. Kimberley came in wearing a pink shirt.  IJ said, "My teeth are killing me!  Pink is my favorite color.  This is the sign for color (signs "colors" in sign language).  This is my brother, S.  I have a baby sister.  Her name is Jumping Jelly Bean."  When we finally got to the teeth part of the dentist trip, the boys actually behaved, opened their mouths, and let the dentist examine their teeth.  E pooped again.

After S got his fluoride treatment, we packed up all of our gear.  I'm totally overheated and sweaty by this time.  We went to the Prize Room to get pictures taken and pick out a prize for each boy.  The boys didn't have any patience left and I didn't either.  They wouldn't stand still for pictures.  IJ stole prize coins from the drawer and wouldn't give them back.  S threw himself on the floor getting ready for a tantrum.  And this whole time I'm juggling my jacket, a diaper bag, and a fussy baby who pooped again.  I tell IJ I am counting to TWO and he better give the money back.  Yes, I have his fish prize. S get up-let's go to your trains! NO, I don't need a tour of the rest of the office (I finally have the 3 kids to the front desk). I'll CALL to make the next appointment. We have to leave NOW...sigh... We got in the van, ate some grapes, changed the poopy diaper.  And it was only 10:28.  S was asleep by playtime and I was exhausted.

...

Now, five years later, what have I learned?  I never dress the kids or myself for the weather.  We will only be cold for the time we need to get from the door to when the van heats up.  I'm not going to carry everyone's jackets- or mine!  Yesterday it was 32 degrees while we ran errands for four hours (that's right, four hours), went to swim lessons, and then Cub Scouts.  IJ and E wore shorts.  D was barefoot.

I don't pack a giant bag full of "waiting room activities."  If they don't behave now, they ain't gonna-until we take a trip to the van to reinforce what listening means.  People stop me in Costco every time I go to tell me how well-behaved my children are and what a beautiful family I have.  I pay them (the kids) handsomely for these compliments in the form of hot dogs, pizza, and ice cream.  

Another thing I have learned is that it really and truly takes me an hour to get the kids out the door.  Days like yesterday take longer.  So once we are done doing breakfast and morning chores, I get the boys started on their independent workbooks while I start relocating the little kids' stuff.  Because no matter how many times you teach your child to put their shoes in their shoebox or hang up their towel, when it is time to go some two year old or baby wandered off with them somewhere. 

This post has gotten too long, so I will leave you with this: the most recent thing I learned is tonic water (or toxic water-thanks to my little buddy G Man) is awesome at the end of the day.  It tastes AWFUL, but the quinine soothes my aches and pains from wearing a 23 pound baby while pushing a several hundred pound (not kidding) Costco shopping cart uphill in the parking lot.  And then wrestling said baby next to a pool for an hour while managing the comings and goings of four children in swim suits.  And then Cub Scouts.  That trip to the dentist five years ago was child's  play compared to what I do today!