Moonraker

 

Last night we introduced the kids to Bond, James Bond.  Ian is tired of watching the same family-friendly movies over and over, so Mark decided a good ole 007 flick was just the ticket.  Here are some of my favorite moments:

Shane: What's so great about beautiful women anyway?
Ian: You'll understand when you're older.
Shane: Are YOU old enough?
Ian: Almost.
Dad: Be quiet! This is why we don't watch grown up movies! You talk too much!

Fiona: Is she naked? Dad, is she naked? Dad, why is she NAKED!?
Dad: Be quiet! It's just a shape! No one is actually naked!
Fiona: Is she doing gymnastics? Naked?
Dad: Who cares? Everyone is naked under their clothes!
Shane and Evie (imitating Sam, the Bald Eagle on the Muppet Show): Under their clothes, they're completely naked!
Dad: QUIET!

Dr. Goodhead: What the hell are you doing here, Bond?
Evie (gasps): She said a bad word!
Dad: Be quiet!

Daniel: Is that a bad guy or a good guy? Is that one a bad guy? Is THAT one a bad guy? Why does that guy have shiny teeth? Is he going to bite her? Are those dogs going to kill her? Are they shooting the good guy or the bad guy?
Mom: I'm going to cover your eyes. Don't peek.
Daniel (yelling): I want to watch! I want to watch!
Dad: QUIET!

Evie: Ew, are they kissing?
Ian (laughing): Yeah, don't they know that's how germs are spread?
Dad: Shhh!

Shane: This is the best movie ever! Can we have popcorn?
Dad: In fifteen minutes. Now be quiet!

Fiona: Why are they naked?
Dad: They aren't.  They're wearing a sheet.
Fiona: Why did they take their clothes off then? Why are they only wearing a sheet?
Dad: Remember how hot the space shuttle got when it was entering Earth's atmosphere? They were just too hot to wear clothes.
Fiona: But why...
Mom: Time for bed! Go brush your teeth!

The most annoying thing about watching movies with kids is they ask a lot of questions.  I remember watching Planet of the Apes with Ami when she was little and she asked like 14 questions in 5 minutes!  I've always thought their attempt to follow the plot was a sign of intelligence (instead of passively and quietly following the story). 

Toddler Time

Getting into the dog food time (I was wondering why she was fussing!)

Getting into the school supplies (and on the table) time

Pulling the peanut butter off the counter time

Invading the doggie bed time

Chewing Glue time

Getting stuck in strange places time (I was wondering why she was fussing!)

Yep, its Toddler Time alright.

Jaws 3 1/2: The Preschooler

The back story is that Shane wanted to know why people hum a certain, "duh-dum!" tune while pretending they are a shark.  Thanks to the internet, I could play the theme music from Jaws uninterrupted by screams and blood.  Or images of legs sinking to the sea floor that will burn themselves to my children's memories forever.  Like what happened to me.  Some of my most vivid memories of being next door at the neighbor's house was the sinking leg, a tree that swallows children (Poltergeist), a rabid dog breaking down a kitchen door (Cujo), and Madonna's title song from the album released in 1984.   And some other memories, but this is a family blog so I won't mention them...I'll just leave you with the funny video...and the warning that you can't always trust your neighbors, even if they do drive a BMW...

Follow the trail of destruction left by that polluting, habitat-destroying preschooler to the final moment....

Again, ignore the videos suggested by you tube-I don't choose them or know who they are.

Monday Funnies

Monday doesn't have to be the worst day of the week!  Just come to my house!  Here are a few moments from my selective memory...

Daniel, while learning about shapes~
Me: And what shape is the basket ball?
Daniel: A Circle.
Me: And a football?
Daniel: An oval.
Me: What about your bellybutton?
Daniel (giggling): A circle!
Me: And your ear?
Daniel (getting a wicked gleam in his eye): An oval!  (flips over and sticks his bum in the air)  What about my bum? What shape is that, Mama?
Me: Two circles! (tickle, tickle)

Finding a new funny video "Facebook, Facebook, gotta check my Facebook!"  Ian and Evie also like this song...and I have a feeling they will be singing it to me for a long time.  I'm not addicted to Facebook, just bored and waiting for my slow students to finish their work! 

While lecturing the boys during my "break" time, I told them they needed to leave me alone and pretend that I was in my own little bubble...but I could still hear and see everything they did.  Their reaction was amazing; it was like they shared a brain.  They both ran straight at me, poked my bubble, and shouted "POP!" I laughed like crazy and gave Shane a big kiss, so they ran away and left me alone.

Fiona knocked down Mark's punching bag.  After she cried in her room for 45 minutes, she came out to talk punishments.  She decided that she would have to go without TV for a whole week!  I asked her if she planned on sitting on her bed anytime we wanted to watch something.  She said, "No....We [our family] just aren't going to watch TV at ALL this week."  Hmmm, sounds like the whole family is being punished for climbing up the punching bag.

Ian doing a science experiment~ He was supposed to measure the speed of light by melting a chocolate bar in the microwave.  It didn't work.  Instead, he filled the house with smoke and set off the smoke alarm.  "Didn't you watch to see when the two spots started melting?"  He said, "I couldn't see because of the smoke!"  I've decided to not redo the experiment; instead, Ian can write up the results he got, just like a real scientists would.

When Fairies Nap

Google School

Google School is my new twist on National Geographic School (NGschool).  It's very simple.  I get up in the morning, make a cup of coffee, sit in front of the computer, and see that Google has a new doodle up.  This morning, I saw:

I had no idea what it was, so I clicked and found out today, September 18th, is the birthday of some scientist guy from a long time ago.  Like, who cares?  Well, why not find out why anyone would care?  Now I know that picture shows the Foucault Pendulum (pronounced fu-CO) and that this invention measured the rotation of the earth.  Cool, right?

The first external influence

So that brought me to our school day.  I said to Ian and Shane, "Do what I say and behave yourselves and I won't make you do math.  Fool around and its Saxon for you!" It was so easy to find some info on pendulums, Galileo's experiments, clock history, and some experiments that lead students to discover answers on their own.  We made some pendulums out of washers and yarn (instead of thread and paper clips) and taped them to the kitchen counter.  We learned the scientific terms for the parts of a pendulum and explored why my first pendulum (a ruler swinging on a chopstick) had design flaws.

The second external influence

We learned that the longer the rod (string), the slower the swing cycle.  The heavier the weight (bob) on similar rod lengths, the fast the swing cycle (oscillation).  Using what they learned, they had to adjust their pendulums so that they swung in one-second cycles.  We used an online metronome to help us.  When Lula and Jack got in the way, I sent the older kids outside to design an experiment.

Evie acted as the bob and Ian timed the swing cycles (aligned to the boot).  Shane was assigned the job of scribe (ooh, history term!)  They found that their results mimicked what they learned with the washers on the string:

The shorter the rod (or string or rope), the faster the swing cycle.   I want to follow up with some videos on pendulums, but right now they are so busy playing nicely so I will just wait.  It should only take a few more minutes...

The Baby IS the Lesson: Part 2

Read Part 1 HERE.

Ian: harassed by babies during math since 1st grade

I really needed that little reminder this morning (although my kids have nearly doubled since then).  I was up for HOURS last night with the baby pictured above (Lula, not Ian) after a very spirited discussion about the state of the house and our needed for better management around here with my dear husband.  Plain and simple: sometimes homeschooling stinks.  I live in a world where other women comment on the size of my family and wonder how I do it all.  All of you who know me know that I don't do it all and sometimes? I don't even try.  Like during a third trimester.  Or when I have a needy toddler.  Or a teething baby.  Or all three at once... and then that yellow school bus seems like a gift from above.  Imagine: four kids leaving every morning and getting fed breakfast AND lunch.  Another smaller bus coming and getting the 3yo for free preschool. All five coming home in the afternoon to a mom that cleaned house all morning, napped with her babies all afternoon, and knew exactly what was for dinner before sending dear husband and children off to evening activities.  No sibling squabbles during the day, no toys being played with (except on weekends), no unfinished projects of any kind anywhere, no moving couches around looking for overdue library books.  Massive space opened up in the house because homeschool materials are no longer needed.  Someone else taking responsibility for their academic futures and standardized test scores-and getting paid for it!  Sounds lovely.

Or does it?

This morning, I kept track of the little things that make the homeschooling worth the work (I tried to ignore the irritating things).  Shane playing giant squid with Daniel before breakfast and then taking him outside to play after math.  Lula snuggling up to Evie while she fills out her math sheet.  Ian writing simple words for Fiona to read and then teaching her simple addition.

Our current homeschool doesn't usually look the way I imagined it way back when we first started.  There are so many things that I wish were different.  But if my imaginary school were real, my kids would not have a single drop of personality and have no mind of their own.  They would be like little robots with no souls.  That doesn't sound like fun at all.

Or does it? *wink*