Shane's Pet

This is Oogway.  He is Shane's new pet.  Oogway came with the name Jeffrey, but we don't like that name.  He has a friend named Jenny, but she is either sick or hibernating... if she lives, she will get to join Oogway in the garden for some free-ranging!  They are Russian Land Tortoises and came to us from a friend who is moving.  I didn't even talk it over with Mark, I just adopted them on the spot.  He has been wanting to get a new snake for a long time, but the tortoises are just as good!  This has been a great project for Mark and Shane to work on together.  They are living in the shed with our chicks for the moment, but when it starts getting cold outside, they will move in downstairs by the fire.  We think they are five or six years old, but our research says they can live to be 50!  Oogway is just so cute.  Happy early birthday, Shane!

I Changed My Mind

About homeschooling, that is.  I spent half the summer wondering if we would be covered by our school district.  And now that I know we are, I don't even want to participate anymore.

"I don't WANT Evie in my picture!"

When the program first started, the rules were pretty relaxed.  We could learn what we wanted, when we wanted, HOW we wanted, and we could purchase our materials wherever we wanted.  We could take unplanned field trips.  We could take lessons.  All I had to do was report on our learning and submit our receipts every month.

But then the rules started changing and we were like frogs in boiling water.  You know the story: start turning up the heat slowly and they won't even know they are cooking.  Well, we are hopping out of the pot now.  The rules have gotten so restrictive and the allowed amount available for resources is half of what it was when we started.  No field trips. No lessons. No PE classes (but we still have to do PE). No partially approved curriculum choices.  No shopping for good deals on ebay and getting reimbursed.  No spur-of-the-moment learning opportunities.  Plus, the amount of time I am required to invest in record keeping and weekly/monthly contact has become a burden.

Getting ready for a marshmallow roast!

Mark was curious how much it would cost us out-of-pocket.  Because I invested in several instructor's guides for math and language arts when we were first starting, we will only have to pay $250-and most of that is for Ian and can be handed down.  When he found out I had already submitted $1800 in purchase orders through the school district (and it didn't even include a YMCA membership), he exclaimed, "What the HELL were you buying?"  Stuff.  You know, books and workbooks and stuff like that.  Some kits.  Rosetta Stone.  New math curriculum for everyone.  New science curriculum.  Because I could.

Will the one with the REAL black eye, please stand up?

Another complication that was bothering me was the calendar.  The rule changes were announced during the summer, when there was no office staff to answer questions.  With such a huge cut in funding, I had to adjust my purchase orders.  By the time the office staff is available and revisions are made and approved, we wouldn't receive our learning materials until the end of September...or later.  Even in good years we've waited until mid-September.  But I would still have to show progress on my learning goals for the entire month.  And if I didn't achieve 80% of my learning goals, then I would receive an "unsatisfactory" on my report.  Throw in Lucky being born at the end of November and needing time off for that (and also not knowing what kind of trouble she is going to be), I will never achieve 80% of my goals and we will be expelled.  I need to start school NOW.  My kids are bored with the outdoors.  All they want to do is watch TV and mess up the house.  We do better with a mid-July through April school year.

The benefit of large families: the oldest kid makes the sticks, the middle kids cook the marshmallows, and the youngest eat them.  We relax.

I am once again excited to homeschool.  Enthusiasm is contagious.  If I'm excited to do something, chances are that (most of) my kids will be excited too.  I feel FREE to school in the best way for each child and not have to justify or plan anything a year in advance.  I already know EXACTLY what I'm going to do for the WHOLE year...but that is a post for another day.

World's Longest Marshmallow Stick

All the "extras" we are losing by leaving will make great Christmas and/or birthday presents.  Things like art and science supplies, gift certificates for books, software... yeah, so, if anyone wants to get the kids meaningful presents, just let me know *big grin*

Now, pictures.  Lula got her black eye by falling off the changing table.  She usually just sits there and chews on lotion bottles while I spray diapers, but this time she took a dive.  Mark said (loudly), "This is a BAD THING that happened!" while she was crying, so I was forced to say back (also loudly), "Thank you, Captain Obvious!"  She has entered the dangerous climbing and falling age.

Last night we had a super-fun BBQ and marshmallow roast.  Ian cracked us up with his long roasting stick.  Jack made us laugh harder when he grabbed the end of my stick and ran off with it (no marshmallows were on it).  I throw sticks for him every evening, so I guess it just made sense to him that the stick I was holding was for him.  He left all the other sticks alone.  Mark and the older boys sat around the campfire as the stars came out, but I had to come in with the cranky, naughty little kids that couldn't be quiet.  There is a reason we don't go camping at state parks!

Lessons from Daniel: Part 2

Daniel has been sick for the last few days.  It started Monday night with nightmares.  By Tuesday morning he had a high fever that lasted through Wednesday.  Both Tuesday and Wednesday nights were filled with fever-induced nightmares.  Yesterday, Thursday, his fever broke, and he ran off to play with his sisters.  But last night was the worst night of them all.  Night Terrors.  SO different from a regular nightmare.  I was able to wake him from the spiders that needed killing and the dragons that talked too loud.  But last night, he screamed and screamed like he was being tortured.  He looked past me and through me and over my shoulder; he couldn't look at me.  He convulsed and kicked and hit.  He could only speak in gibberish with an occasional terrified NOOOO mixed in.  It was TERRIFYING.  It only lasted until just after midnight and then he woke up for real and crawled into bed with me.  Normally I put him back in his own bed because he crowds my space, but after those night terrors, he could sleep anywhere he wanted.  He slept fine the rest of the night, woke up at 9:00, and cheerfully announced that he had nice dreams and he wanted cold hot dogs for breakfast.

None of my other kids have ever had night terrors to this extreme.  I can only attribute it to his personality.  He has always been my most volatile, sensitive, extreme, passionate, needy (must I go on?)... Even when he isn't sick, he can throw a doozy of a scene.  Remember our trip to see King Tut's treasures?  He pushes us to the outer limits of our patience...and forces us to find inner peace.

So, the last post talked about Daniel's tantrum while going down for a nap and how he was starting to learn the meaning of, "I love you."  His language skills are more sophisticated than they were when he was two years old, so his fits are more...colorful.  If he doesn't get his way in a game, he will say, "Fine, I don't like you anymore and I'm going to throw the toys in the garbage."  For awhile he was saying, "I HATE you (sibling name)!"  I would correct him with, "No, you don't hate them, you are just really mad at them.  Say that.  Say, 'I'm REALLY MAD at you, (sibling name)!'"  The hard part is trying to keep the older kids from giggling and throwing gasoline on the temper fire.

The older kids don't always laugh.  There are times where Daniel is just so mean and he really hurts someone's feelings.  This is when I have to teach them about the fruits of the spirit (kindness, gentleness, self-control) and how they respond to him will either help prop him up, like a tomato cage, or keep him down.  My favorite illustration is from Kung Fu Panda 2.  I'm not even going to write what I say because someone else has.  Visit this post to see what we talk about: 5 Life Lessons From Kung Fu Panda 2  I have the kids imagine they are Po, catching the cannon balls (Daniel's hurtful words) and throwing them into the water.  Sure, your hands get a little singed, but it won't last if you won't let it.

When he really gets going, he will scream, "YOU'RE NOT MY MOM ANYMORE AND I DON'T LOVE YOU!!!" and so on and so forth. My parental training (snicker, snicker) teaches to respond in a calm, soothing voice, "That's okay, you don't have to love me.  I still love you and I always will."  Really, I don't say, "Fine. I don't love you either and I'm going to throw your toys in the garbage.  Go find a new mom."  It's so tempting, so very tempting, but I don't do it.

Saturday, the day we spent at the beach, he was so totally out of control and so tired and he just needed to go to bed.  He threw one of his big ones with all the toppings.  He hated his bed, his pillows, his blankets.  He wanted different ones and then none at all.  He hated his pjs and wanted to throw them in the garbage.  I started to wish he were non-verbal, like my nephew.  I bet my sister doesn't have to hear her 2 1/2 year old say things like what comes out of Daniel's mouth.  When he started in on the, "You're not my mom anymore, I don't love you, you can't be my mom..." I had a sudden realization that we, as adults, will often do this to God.  When we are tired, overwhelmed, and maybe even praying for something and it doesn't go our way, we will often shake our fist at God and cry, "Fine! I don't believe in You! You are not my God anymore! I hate you!"  What does God do? Does he say, "Fine, I'm going to throw you in the garbage?"  So, what does he say instead?  Well, What Would Jesus Do?  It's not just a cute bracelet with a WWJD-it's a serious question.  As my Heavenly Father, I know I want God to say, "You don't hate Me, you are just mad at Me. Take a rest, you'll feel better in the morning."

I'm just a stand-in until Daniel is old enough to know God on his own.  And my words and actions should reflect that.  I'd certainly rather hear him say, "I'm going to feed you to the chickens!" instead of God and Jesus.

Swirly Thoughts (Lessons from Daniel part 1)

I originally wrote this post a year ago...and I never posted it because I didn't want people to laugh at me behind my back (or to my face).   But I had a conversation with my aunt this past weekend (she is also my Godmother), and she encouraged me to post it anyway.  I have a Part 2 to add to this-it's also about Daniel...

***

Okay, here are some random thoughts that have been swirling around my head this weekend... My thoughts are like separate colors of paint that have been combined into a big ole swirl. You can see the separate colors, but when they are all mixed up they make a muddy picture that is sometimes hard to see... so it is hard to me to separate my thoughts out of the swirl and onto a piece of paper (or screen).  So bear with me...

I'm almost always thinking about God and religion and the best way to get my kids to know God.  It is easy for those who believe the Bible is the one and only Word of God, pure and perfect in the written form, published and bound between two book covers, to walk into church and teach their kids, "It's in the Bible. Believe it or you're going to hell.  If it isn't in the Bible, it isn't true or doesn't exist and if you believe that it is true or does exist, you are going to hell."  I believe God spoke to people through all times and geographic regions, and did not limit His glory to the Middle East in ancient times.  I don't believe that God stopped speaking and inspiring in the 1600's when King James commissioned a group of professionals to translate and assemble the best writings into one Book.  I believe that God speaks to us, all of us, today and will continue to do so.  I believe that anyone can be inspired to write like Paul for the purpose of uplifting, instructing, and supporting people in their religious walks.  I believe that anyone can prophetize (and be right) like Elijah.

One of my favorite Sunday School songs was the Joy, Joy, Joy song.  Now I love the song even more because I can sing, "Lula Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Downen my heart!"  I've forgotten some of the verses, but I heard one of our friends sing a verse that I incorrectly heard as, "I've got the peace of passive understanding down in my heart." What? I don't want PASSIVE understanding.  I want to ACTIVELY understand. What kind of mindless robots are the churches turning kids into with that passive nonsense? I had to look that verse up on the internet...yeah, I totally remembered it wrong.  It is "I've got the peace that PASSES understanding..."  That is what I want.  The peace that passes understanding.  You don't have to explain, debate, or rationalize anything about God, Jesus, the Bible, recorded history, science, evolution... just have the peace in your heart that is so awesome you don't have to understand it.

The day I realized what "grace" meant, I was practically knocked sideways.  I always thought grace referred to being graceful like a ballerina in a floaty sort of way.  When I realized that God's grace was something completely different...when I realized that grace could also be giving someone something nice whether they deserved it OR NOT...it was like my mind blew wide open.  I was given grace from God and I didn't do anything to earn it.  I didn't deserve it.  But it was there and I accepted it.  And ever since then, through my ups and downs, I've tried to be deserving of it.  Tried is the key word because I am not perfect-I'm flawed like every other human out there.

Yesterday Daniel threw this amazingly huge temper tantrum.  He is two.  He was tired.  He was hungry.  His dad had been gone for four days and had just got home.  It was too much for his little mind and body.  He kicked, he screamed, he even scratched!  We needed to get him down for a nap.  Naps for tantruming two year olds are like giant reset buttons.  He was not going to go down easy though.  I had to hold him, both to keep him from scratching and kicking me and to keep him in the bed.  He screamed and screamed and screamed and when he took a breath, I would tell him I loved him.  He is beginning to understand that "I love you" is the phrase that goes with snuggling, hugging, and kissing, so even though he screamed, "NOOOOO!" I knew he got it.  He knew that although he had these huge nasty feelings exploding out of him, my holding was not a punishing restraint, but a loving restraint.  On the next breath I said, "I'm going to let go of you now...one...two...three....okay. You're done."  He screamed, "NO! Don't let go!" flipped over, and hugged me tight around my neck.  I said I loved him again and held him until he was asleep a minute later.

While I held him, I understood that THIS is how I bring my children to know and understand God.  By showing them grace.  By holding them and loving them when they tantrum.  By whispering I love them while they take a deep breath to scream again.  Our sins are just like a two year old's temper tantrum.  Adults just don't kick and scream out loud (usually) while they are saying, "I don't want to love my neighbor! I don't want to turn the other cheek! I don't want to turn away from sinful behavior-it feels too good!"  But God still holds us all and whispers in our hearts that He loves us and will let us go to try again to make the right choice.  Boy, how many times have I thought angrily that there is no way I was going to do things God's way? But the minute He lets me go I turn around and say, "Don't let go of me!"  That is the peace that passes understanding-the peace that settles my heart just like the two year old that settles down for his nap.

My children are leading me closer to God, just when I think I'm the one leading them.

Grandma Jane Memorial Part 2: The Game

Now that I've had a few good night's sleep, I can fill in some blanks about our memorial weekend.  We had our initial get-together/ash scattering at the beach, but the real fun happened at the ball game.  My grandma loved the Mariners, so my mom thought it would be a good idea to celebrate her birthday at Safeco field watching them play.  It just so happened it was Kid's Day with free T-shirts and the opportunity to run around the bases AND they were playing....the Angels!

I left the three youngest at home with Mark so the three oldest and I could really enjoy ourselves and not worry about any details like bottles and diapers and temper tantrums.  We took the ferry from Bremerton to Seattle and left the car at home so we wouldn't have to drive or park.  But it wasn't just us.  We traveled with my parents and my sister and her family for the day!  While we were walking to the ferry, Ian spotted a car parked on the side of the road that wasn't very tall.  Now, my kids like to find little cars and make fun of how small they are compared to our Big Van.  So, he pointed to it  and exclaimed, "Look, Mom, isn't that car pathetic?"  I looked. I saw.  I said, "Ian, that's a Corvette."  Hahahaha! You should have seen the look on his face.

We Downens are on super money-saving mode, so we packed all the food we would need for the day.  Lunch was a picnic on the ferry.  I tell you, my kids and I were having so much fun; silliness was definitely our theme for the day.

"Bye-bye green hat!"

Once, when Ian was a toddler, we took the ferry when we took Ami to summer camp.  Ian pulled his binky out of his mouth and threw it overboard.  He said, "Bye-bye blue binky!" as we all watched in shock as it landed in the water and slowly sank.  Thank goodness I had a spare in the van.  This ferry ride wasn't as surprising, but it was a lot of fun.  Ian and I played War with a deck of cards I brought along.  The first round was the traditional what-number-is-bigger.  Round two was addition war with two cards.  Round three was subtraction war.  Round four was multiplication war.  Ian won, not because he is better at math, but because he had better cards.  Haha!

I made Shane stay close to the safety ring, just in case.

Mark has a fear of losing Shane at baseball games.  That was the number one reason he didn't want to go or let Shane go and the number one reason he gave me strict instructions on not letting the kids out of my sight even for one second.  We've sung Shane's song enough times that he is very embarrassed about the whole getting lost thing.  So I had a little fun and had the kids pose like they were lost in the crowds on the streets of Seattle:

The game itself was not very fun for us.  Sorry, but it's true.  We don't spend much time following professional sports, so we ended up just getting hot and bored. 

Watching the Reader Board

Luckily, there were lots of people to talk to, including cute little cousins that fill the Daniel hole when he isn't with us.  I brought my knitting and got several inches done on a pair of wool pants for Lucky.  When the sun reached our seats, my kids and I took a walk around the stadium and looked at the outrageous prices.  They know a hot dog and soda at Costco costs $1.50 and whole case of bottled water is $3.25 because I always tell them.  When they saw that hot dogs were closer to $8 each and one bottle of water was $4.50, they were completely happy with filling their empty water bottles from lunch at the water fountain.  (One of my favorite pranks was telling my kids Safeco field had 66 water fountains and they could refill their bottles as many times as they wanted.  But there are NO bathrooms, so they are going to have to hold it for the whole game until we get back to the ferry.  Yeah, that was a good one!)

Cousins

The Mariners won, so the baseball fans in my family were quite happy.  The forty-three members of our group said our goodbyes-some took longer than others-and the kids got ready to run around the bases.  My kids and my sister's kids were not interested, but my cousin's kids were.  One of them was brave enough to scatter another small bag of Grandma's ashes right on home plate.  She truly carries Grandma's spirit in her heart.

Waiting in the Shade

After that was the hot walk back to the ferry, a quick $5 Footlong at Subway, and the ride home.  Evie took 100 pictures of blurry boats and seagull wings.  I got another sunburn (ouch) and was completely exhausted by the time we got home.

Goodbye Seattle!

Grandma Jane Memorial Part 1: The Beach

 This is my family (photo courtesy of one of my cousins):

We have my mom, her three siblings, and their spouses.  My sister and her family.  My eight cousins, some with spouses and children. And my family (minus Daniel who was off playing).  We gathered at Belfair State Park to scatter my Grandma Jane's ashes.  My Grandpa passed away when I was 11 years old and his ashes were scattered here too.  It was so wonderful to have our entire family together, possibly for the last time.  We came from as near as a twenty minute drive and as far away as China!  We met in Belfair because we used to come here to camp when I was growing up.  I have many fond memories of playing with my cousins.

Evie

Evie was blessed with a bag of hand-me-downs today.  She is the only child I have ever met that can fit into slim-sized skinny jeans (she isn't wearing them in the picture, but they fit like a pair of tights).  She likes the skinny jeans that have zippers in the legs because it is easier to get her feet through the legs.  Wow.  Important information that I'm going to have to file away in case I get another skinny-guinea girl.  Aren't those platform sandals adorable? They are shiny silver.  Completely impractical, but totally fun.  She can wear them while she prances on the porch, but that's about it.  Who buys this stuff for girls? You can't run or climb trees or play four square in platform sandals!

VBS is over for another summer.  Our next upcoming adventure is...family reunion with my mom's side of the family!  Stay tuned!  We're heading to the beach tomorrow and a Mariners game on Sunday...