Here's the summer:
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Why buy a sandbox when you can dig a hole in the new grass? And what's regression?
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F needed rescuing yesterday when a caterpillar was on her paddle board. M said, "Don't touch the caterpillar, it's poisonous!" What he meant was the hairs can get in your skin and make you itch. F thought the caterpillar was going to grow giant fangs and bite her I guess because she started screaming. She screams a lot on a normal day, so we tend to ignore her screaming. But this got a little crazy. She kept scooting backward off her board until her back end was under water (she was wearing a life jacket, so there wasn't any danger of her drowning) while screaming and screaming and screaming. Finally, when it was apparent that she was nearing hysterics, we sent IJ over to rescue her off her board and bring her to shore. I turned to M and said, "How did
we create a child who is scared of a caterpillar?"
Here's the school:
Today is the last day of weekly contact with the school district. Our coordinator always sends little trivia "facts" for the kids. I never share them, but one she sent today was just too weird to not share. This is what she wrote:
Watermelon
is actually a VEGETABLE! It is from the botanical family Cucurbitaceae
and is most closely related to cucumbers, pumpkins and squash. I started an email writing her back saying, "Actually, watermelon, cucumbers, pumpkins, and squash are all fruit because they are the seed-bearing ovary of the plant." Instead, I decided to make this our social studies/science lesson for the day. I asked the kids which it was and why. IJ's answers were vegetable because it sounds like a trick questions and fruit because it could be a trick to the trick question. It reminded me of that scene in The Princess Bride when Vizzini enters in the battle of wits with the man in black. S decided watermelons were vegetables because they grow on vines in a garden and fruit grow on trees or bushes. E decided watermelons were fruit because they taste yummier than vegetables.
We then made a list of who gets to decide if something is a fruit or vegetable. They came up with scientists, gardeners, King of the World, old people-because they are wise, farmers, government, and chefs. I thought it was a pretty good list! Especially since I did a tiny bit of research beforehand to see what this watermelons-are-vegetables nonsense was built on. So, who is right? Depends on who you ask. If you ask a chef, watermelons are fruit because they are not served in, with, or after the soup, fish, meat, or main dish. So E was right. But then again, if you ask a fruit or vegetable importer/handler of the USDA, the watermelon is part of the cucurbit family, which also includes the cucumber. They grow on the ground and need to be handled differently than something that does not grow on the ground. And if the watermelon is related to a cucumber, which is obviously a vegetable, then the watermelon is also a vegetable. So S is right. But if you ask a scientist (or the USDA again), what the scientific definition of a fruit is, the watermelon, cucumber, pumpkin, and squash are all fruits. So that means I am right.
And last, and funniest (or most pathetic?) of all, if you ask the Oklahoma House of Representatives and State Senate in 2007, you find out the watermelon is a vegetable because they voted the watermelon is the Official State Vegetable of Oklahoma. The bills were introduced by a Democrat in the House and a Republican in the Senate. Both are from an area that would profit from watermelon sales if the bill passed. So now we know. The politicians have decided for us based on how much money their district receives from watermelon sales. Watermelons are vegetables and science be damned!
