These kids keep me in stitches. Today at Wal-Mart, we used the brand new family restroom. F exclaimed about the cute little potty, just for the little folk. When we came out of the restroom, she saw an employee...a male employee, and told him how much she loved his potty. He said, "Well, it isn't mine, but I will let my manager know." She said, "Don't you live here?" He said, "Sometimes it feels like it." She said, "Well, what do you do here then?" I said, "He sells things. Now stop talking and let's go!"
A few minutes later, F stepped on S's heels or ran into him or something. He got cranky with her and she said something and then, "...and I will NEVER do it AGAIN!" A sweet little old lady, who probably should have minded her own business said, "Oh, I'm sure you will." F turned to her with her maddest face and said, "I WON'T! HMPF!" I quickly said, "Don't sass, F!" F shouted, "Well SHE shouldn't sass ME!" She was right, but I waited until we were a little farther away before telling her that.
After dinner, she climbed up on the couch to sit next to me. She sweetly said, "Mama, last night you snored so loud that I heard it from my room and it woke me up and SCARED me! I sat up and went [she screams loudly]! I thought you were a MONSTER!" Really? I thought I was awake all night listening and waiting for my children to start throwing up, one after another, since IJ started around midnight and there is a nasty flu going around.
Speaking of IJ, F doesn't get all the funnies. Tomorrow I need to take them all to my midwife appointment. Here is how a typical conversation goes:
Me: I have to take you all to my midwife appointment tomorrow morning.
S: What's a midwife?
Me: She is the lady that will help me deliver this baby.
IJ: Deliver? Like a package? (switches to obnoxious voice) Here's you package lady (pantomimes ripping paper off a box) Oh, a baby boy! He even comes with a name tag!
Me: And she is going to take my blood...
IJ: She's a vampire too?
E: She's going to drink your blood tomorrow? (hides under blanket)
S: Is the baby going to be born tomorrow? (okay, S didn't really say this. But it is something he would say and then everyone would stare at him while a cricket chirps in the background. He actually asked if we would find out the gender tomorrow)
