Worst Costco Trip Ever!

Everyone remembers my last trip to Costco, the one where I lost Evie? Well, today's trip was worse. Let me walk you through our trip: As usual, our group consisted of myself and the four little ones, with Fiona in the car seat carrier. We calmly walked to the front of the store, me holding Evie by the hand just in case. At the entrance, I chose to push a big flat cart instead of the regular cart because I needed both dog food and a case of soy milk and the baby could ride too. Of course all the kids climbed on and we collected many stares and smiles as we traversed the store. Did I crush a child's limb with the cart? No, read on. I was stopped many times by senior citizens who wanted to admire the size of my family, the cuteness of the baby, the amount of food on my flat cart, and how incredibly well behaved my kids are. Did anyone get lost or burst out with Sponge Bob imitations? Oh, no. Those would be much preferred to what happened. We went up and down the aisles, sampling food for lunch as is our custom. Did a child choke or have an accident or throw up on the floor? Did I have to stop and breastfeed a screaming baby while sitting on the floor with a cart full of salmon while onlookers gave me sympathetic looks (been there, done that)? Nope, keep going. When it was time for us to check out, my three walking children happily unloaded the cart onto the conveyor belt, all without me asking them to. We were having the trip of a lifetime. The man behind us in line commented on the cuteness of my family and joked, "What aisle can I find the babies on?" since Fiona was still on the flat cart with the food. He was obviously a business man, with a cart full of office supplies and a Bluetooth in his ear. The checker chatted about the size of my family (really people, four kids is not a lot!) while Ian helped reload the cart and melted the heart of the gal he was helping. After a trip like this I had to buy hot dogs for these incredible kids. The businessman was right behind us in the line for hot dogs. Because Ian recognized him from our previous conversation, he struck up a new conversation about his stuffed snow leopard that he is now carrying everywhere he goes. Is this the big problem, my six year old boy hauling a girl stuffed leopard around in public with the name of Buttercup? Oh heavens no, I am way to cool to let that bother me. We glanced down at Evie, who was absolutely adorably stunning this morning in her new blue sweat suit and blond blond pigtails. Very blond pigtails. We could see a little black spot on her scalp, right off the part in her hair. I reached down to wipe it off...and here it is...the worst trip to Costco ever... The black spot moved. It RAN! I tried to get it off her head, but it was stuck under the pigtail... It....was....a....FLEA!!!! I finally got it off, praying the business man did not see me knocking a flea off my child's head. Until she turned around and squeaked loudly, "Mama! Umfing ran down my BACK!" We looked so good today! We had the best behavior! I was the perfect example of a homeschooling mom with many children! Except My Pathetic Doberman picked up fleas on our last trip to Twin Firs and now my perfect image was shattered. We immediately turned into backwoods, uneducated, unkept, overbreeding hicks. I should have just turned right around and put my collection of healthy organic foods back on the shelf and traded them in for processed mac and cheese , Doritos, and Coke. Sigh...